Sam is great. He is one of those rare people in the world that draw other people to them. Like they have an inner light. He has the gift of making other people laugh and feel comfortable immediately. He is also a casualty of too much religion and not enough faith.
We had an extensive online conversation a while ago, and I saved the letters. In part because I think that they are important conversations. Sam is not the only post modern Christian kid asking these kinds of questions, and I think that they are discussed maybe too little in your average church or group situation. We had a loooong discussion, so I won't post everything. Hopefully sharing these will help someone else ask or answer some questions.
Sam. Letter 1.
Total Waste of your Time.
So much to say, and yet, for fear of a difficult response, nothing is said at all. Suffice to say that I have begun to realize that these social institutions and norms that we subscribe to may not actually fit everyone. There are exceptions to every rule. Unfortunately we may not find this out until its too late in the game.
Would that these eyes had been opened a little sooner.
I mean think about it....and I am not talking about just one thing here, but many things...who decided all this? Somewhere along the line a bunch of people got together and said "Ok, well, a person's life should have this, and this, and some of this. Otherwise they are just not doing it right."
I'm not even saying that it's wrong. It's right and beautiful and perfect and fulfilling and joyful..for the right person. Probably even the majority of people.
All I'm saying is that I don't want the yellow brick road.
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Written 2 hours later.
On second thought, this is all a lot clearer than I thought. I’m looking to get off my ass. I’m looking for blue sky. I’m looking to be a larger than life hero to a tiny little princess. Just the tiniest ounce of actual feeling, of actual accomplishment. Days go by, and numbing disillusionment crushes life just a bit more every day.
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You want to know what is retarded? That “self” is bad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about community and living for others, I do it to a fault sometimes. But damn it, sometimes you just want to scream “WHAT ABOUT ME?! WHY DON”T I COUNT?” A sense of purpose is a sense of self, and regardless of religion or cause, however inclined, we all want that. Tell me different and I will politely tell you that that is one opinion, just like mine is.
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While I’m at it, and on my soapbox, I read a quote the other day. “I don’t believe in God, but I am scared of him”. Man, that should hit home! And you know what’s ok? To admit that’s how you really feel.
You want to know what I am curious about? How many people actually believe in God who go to church. I’ve been to church my entire life. I mean 3 times a week. I’ve crossed continents in the pursuit of his will(by crossed I mean dragging a carry on twice my size full of encyclopedias), and I can honestly say I don’t know that I believe in him. I mean think about it. He’s a God of love, correct? Of course if you don’t believe or if you live in South America and worship the sun and the earth because that’s all you know and hear about, then you burn forever in a lake of fire. Eternal torment. Nice right?
So take away the threat of hell. How full are those churches? How many people sit in a pew for fear of sitting in coals? How many people follow because they truly love, believe, and desire God? It’s easy to march when there is a gun at your back. Interesting thought, right?
So how many believe because they are scared? And is that better, in the end?
So that’s a mini-rant.
Crys Letter 1 Reply
God is a God of Love, Sammi. People project their ideas of God onto him, and define him by their own vision. And get it wrong a lot of times. It is ok to admit how you feel, if God is God he should be able to handle questions. I don't love Jesus because I am afraid of Hell, Sammicito. I follow Him because I find nothing good outside of Him. And I love Him. For real. But I like your mini rant. You are a thinker my bro, and I like that about you.
Maybe we dragged encyclopedias across continents so the sun worshipers could know. And I trust LOVE to take care of those who never here.
And Love gives us free will to choose not to love him back. Love isn't love unless there is a choice involved. Cynicism is easy, anyone can doubt. It's much harder to truly believe. ...
As for churches, I think there are tons of people who go to church their whole lives and never believe. Christianity is a lifestyle as often or more often than it is a relationship.
Hmm. I spelled here instead of hear. that's my college education at work
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