Friday, December 30, 2011


Um.  This will be making its way into my wardrobe.  Like yesterday.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

"puede pasar tres mil aƱos.  puedes besar otros labios.  pero nunca te olvidare." 


Tis the new year.  And so everyone gets to hear my goals for 2012.  Are you ready?

1.  Survive the end of the world.



For real:


*Finally make the serious effort to attain my goal size.  I have a rad trainer lined up and a start date.  Oh it's on.
*Get my financial house in order Dave Ramsey style.  I'm tired of credit cards.  And crunching numbers.
*Obey God in ministry.  That's always on the list, but I thought I'd just put it out there.
*Have a lot of fun.
*work less
*create more

Which leads us to...


*work less
*create more
*cross off my list of set gear.
*get BETTER at what I do
*follow my own rules
*make art
*make people happy
*get published in hard copy

And always on both lists:

Love God.

Love people.

See ya 2011!  :D

Friday, December 23, 2011

Find Me

Love, I think, is not found most truly in the dramatic moments of passionate expression.  It's found in the quiet moments of togetherness.  In the stillness of you and me.  Without the sound and the fury.  Without the audience.  That's where you find me.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

What God's Been Doing

I want to take a moment to stop and remember the things that God did this year.

*Healed through confession and forgiveness a friend who had carried immense guilt for an abortion.  Placed that friend in a healthy relationship and marriage.
*Placed a baby in the arms of my friends who have struggled bitterly with infertility for a few years.
*Healed through confession, forgiveness and accountability addictions.
*Grew a small group into a big one.
*Rescued 2 babies from child brothels through the ministry of the HOH.  Rescued them when the world would have thought them lost after 5 months of looking with no results. 
*Restores and continues to restore broken lives in Nicaragua.
*Brought me from depression and bitterness to forgiveness and freedom. 
*Brought members of my family from darkness into forgiveness.
*Found my friend and brought her into faith and new life.  Restored and forgave her.
*Celebrated baptisms with a ton of my amigas.  So fun!

And that's just what I can remember off the top of my head this year.  Can't wait to see what 2012 brings.  In the meantime here's a quick video recap of our Nica trip a few weeks ago. 

Monday, December 19, 2011

Shooting Athletes

Not really.  But kind of.  I get to make a fitness modeling portfolio.  Super excited!  I did a little reconnaissance online and in B & N tonight.  My biggest challenge is going to be the lighting.  And capturing the motion of a weight lifter/runner/cardio specialist in action.

Here's my other concern.  The dude is really hot.  As in smokin'.  I've never seen a for real six pack like that in person.  I hope to not be incredibly awkward.  Painting nudes was not as bad as I thought, so hopefully this will go equally well. 

In other news, he's going to start training me Jan 10.  Eeek!  Fitness test.  AND he says to me today that it will only take a month to whip me into shape.  Terrifying.  I am a lot like Shaun T, he says to me.  This January may be the most physically painful of my life.

Bring it.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

More Events

Nashville was fun.  Got to hang with my sister and my amiga Amanda.  Also got to reconnect with Teddy, a buddy from college days.  BTW, there is absolutely nothing like seeing a friend you haven't seen in 12 years to bring every insecurity I've ever had raging to the surface. I felt a leetle bad for the girlies at dinner because Ted/Shauna/myself were chatting up a storm and the girls were bored out of their minds.  But it WAS the Cheesecake Factory so I didn't feel too bad. 

BTW, order Baja Tacos at the CF.  A party in my mouth.

I have a trainer who wants a portfolio.  We are swapping services.  He's in crazy shape.  I'm terrified.

See?  Scary. 

Christmas is NEXT WEEK?!  What?

Tonight included a chick flick, rum and chocolate.  It's been that kind of day. 

Sunday, December 11, 2011


It seems I have a photography stalker.  Twice now at my weddings.  Both times trying to take over or pretend she's part of my team.  No flipping way.

Off to Nashville tomorrow to learn from and be inspired by Jeremy Cowart.  Also get to hang out with Teddy, an old college bud.  And road trip it with Ruby and Amanda.  Let the fun times roll.

Also let the moving times roll.  Painted one of the spare rooms today.  It's amazing how much junk you can accumulate over a couple of years.  And then fit into one room.  Purging is good for the soul. 

I'm tired tonight but my brain won't turn off.  Also I'm considering a snack, but I'm too lazy to get out of bed.  So there you have it, Internet.  Such are my dilemmas. 

I must/want to/need to put up a post with pics and video from Nica.  I will do so SOON. 

Ryan spent the afternoon with his friends shooting and blowing up things.  What is it with boys and loud, dangerous and fast?  It's like crack or something for them.  Just an observation. 

And as he snores next to me, I'm grateful for where we are in life and where we are going together.  <3

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Being Useful

Sometimes I feel a little weird about parts of my life.  Like I'm looking at them through a glass.  Or on TV.  I kind of felt that way today.  We've been coming to Nicaragua for a couple years now, and so being here isn't odd.  It feels like home.  Like normal.  It's always felt that way because South American culture is just part of who I am.  But today Shea was speaking to 400 women that are recently come out of prostitution, and I translated for her.  When I say I translated, can I just tell you that I literally just sat here trying to remember how to say that in English.  My brain is on Spanish autopilot.

(BTW, this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm sitting on the kitchen counter in our inn, because there is a massive cockroach on the floor staring at me, but the internet connects better here than in the rooms.  That roach is about to meet it's maker, and I'm not convinced that my Jesus made them.  I think they come from the other place.)

Anyway, so the worship today was really good.  And it helped me to focus.  Center.  Pray.  When we were introduced, and were standing up at the front with 400 faces looking at us, turns out the microphones weren't working cuz we'd lost power.  For those of you that know me, you know that "loud" or "easily makes herself heard in a crowded room", are not things that describe this girl.  So Shea and I begin to shout it out, and Huzzah!!  The microphones start working.  God blessed Shea with a great message on the trap of shame, and how God wants to free us from the guilt in our past so that we look forward and to him, and not backward and to sin.  God blessed me with only two times that I had to be creative in explaining because I couldn't remember the right word.

Here's the part that blows my mind.  God gives us gifts to be useful. Never in one hundred million years would I have thought in my youth that one day I'd be useful to communicate to prostitutes and ex prostitutes about the love of Jesus.  That is pretty darn cool.  I am pretty darn blessed.

And lemme tell you.  Worshiping God with women who have been rescued from abuse and despair and addiction is an amazing and powerful thing.  How great is our God.

How GREAT is our God.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Leetle Prayer Request

Hi friends! 

So tomorrow Shea is speaking and I am translating for her.  We'll be talking to about 400-500 ex and current prostitutes.  Pls pray for us that we would communicate clearly and effectively the message of redemption and healing that God wants to share through us.  I've done translation work pretty frequently here, but not in front of such a large group yet. 

Thanks and smooches!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Skin Under My Skin

Is brown. 

I feel it pushing forward. 
When I cross that invisible boundary
between busy and wealthy to
slow and less. 
I feel it in the breeze through palm fronds.
I taste it in the kiss of my berry brown skinned babies
& the juice of a papaya/pineapple/mandarin. 
Dusty roads where sun slices through green 
crowded streets where contests are held to see how many can fit on a bus
they have their own visual music. 
I say it in the rhythm of words
that trip off the tongue in cant and flow
like water through stones. 

I shed my skin
like snow melting to reveal the earth beneath. 
Earth that stretches and rises
under these tropical suns. 
Rises to life. 
To breath. 
To peace. 
To growth. 

The skin under my skin is brown.

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