Monday, February 1, 2010

Conversing

Today I had a moment.  Ok, actually several.  It started with the stress of this being my slow season, and not having much in the bank, to being really stressed when I found out a shady company took all my money without my knowledge or permission off of a closed account debit.  Then it progressed to me sharing my feelings on facebook like so: 

Ahem:

#@%! 

My very nice, very sweet church friend A- than got on to ask me what was wrong.  I messaged her, and we had this conversation:

ME
This company took 950 out of my account without my authorization after supposedly closing my account with them. I'm sure they are going to claim it's some kind of early termination fee or something, but there wasn't one that I recall being in the contract. SO MAD. I am trying to get my money back today. Just frustrated. (= Hope you are having a much better afternoon!

A-
I totally understand. That sounds ridiculous. Just be careful posting a bleep. As believers we've got people watching us at all times - Looking to us to see Jesus. For some of them we may be the only Jesus they ever meet. And there are a lot of baby Christians on Facebook too.

P-said something recently to me when I said "the woman was bitching" in front of her. She told me "A- the words that come out of our mouths as believers need to be holy. They need to lift up and edify. Our words and actions need to point people to God." It wasn't what I wanted to hear at the time but what I needed to hear. She was right. It's one of the things I now pray for daily. If we are really truly to be salt and light to a dying world, we have to consider the perspective of others. Will my words/actions help people around me move closer to God? That's a tough question for me to ask myself at times, especially in the moment.

So I say this in love, not at all meaning to sound legalistic or harsh but from someone who struggles with this myself. (Trust me my natural default is the mouth of a sailor. But a mouth like a sailor will never reflect Christ to others).

I hope everything gets worked out. I'm sure it will. I'd still like to get lunch/coffee with you anytime.

Love ya,
A-

ME
A-

I appreciate your heart of concern. Thank you for telling me how you're feeling.

Have a great day and of course I would love to hang out with you anytime. (=

Crystal

Actually...as I still process your message...

It did work out. God was gracious to me and I got a check unexpectedly today that will cover all of my needs in the interim.

I know that you mean very well. And I know that for the most part you are right.

Let me just say this, there is also something to be said for being real in the moment. I've been a Christian for a very long time. It doesn't make me perfect or good or better than anyone else. And that is kind of the point. I've been around every flavor of Christianity including the kind that gives us a lot of rules and is obsessed with image - to make us look holy. Experience has taught me that people respond more to a sincere apology, or a listening ear, or honesty even when it's painful than they do to an image of "goodness".

Could I have processed that better? Yes, definitely. It was a real emotion in my heart in the moment. I am sorry that it did not reflect Christ to you on my part. That is my bad, and I apologize to you.

In other news, it did start a conversation again with a girl I used to work with and we have been messaging back and forth as I write this to you. She is not a Christian, and I have been given the opportunity to reach out to her about Christ often. They have been to Blue Ridge several times and I hadn't talked to her in a while. She swears a blue streak. One of the ways that I interacted with her when I worked with her daily was to not make it an issue. Because when it comes down to life and her real spiritual condition it's not an issue. I was myself around her, and my real self says s*** on occasion. I kind of fall on the side of it's not a big deal. We talked a lot about whether God is love, forgiveness and coming as you are to him.

I don't know A-. I know on the one hand you and P- are correct in saying we should limit things like language. It's very true. Wisdom should always be used, and I was not being wise. On the other hand I have heard those same arguments often from people who also say we should not drink or dance or go to movies or wear black nail polish or the hundreds of other things there are to pick each other apart about.

I don't know P- that well at all, my friend. But I would say this. Follow scripture, and be your real self and the rest will be ok. Jesus loves you and will work his will in you because you have a sincere heart that desires him.

Part of the growing pains is figuring out all of these small issues and learning how to deal with people who have different opinions. I guess my final thought and something that is very applicable is what Woody said on Sunday.

"In the essentials there is unity, in the non essentials there is liberty, in all things there is love."

Love ya back girl. 

So, whaddya think Internet?  It was definitely a teachable moment. 

2 comments:

Amanda said...

Awesome convo. I like your point very much. People respond to us being ourselves - even with the language slips - more than false-sounding piety. :)

Good word.

CG said...

Thx chica. It was good for my soul to get called out and to think about it too. Not very many people call me out and I appreciate it when it happens. (=

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