In Defense of Love

Lately I've been noticing a bunch of attacks/criticisms coming from Christian articles on the Twilight series.  To be followed shortly by parallels drawn between porn and the romance novel.  In the spirit of full disclosure, let me say that I am a fan of the Twilight books, I read romance novels, and my husband is one of the critical ones and we are having an ongoing discussion.

So you get an idea of where I'm coming from.

Female personalities have a spectrum, just like everything else.  Some girls are super girlie women who play dolls, love pink and want to grown up and get married and have babies.  The end.  Other girls play with GI Joes, love dirt bikes and want to grow up and run the world.  The end.  (I land somewhere in the middle of that probably.) 

But here's a secret that's true about every. single. girl.  We all want to fall in love.  Be loved.  Be the center of someone's world.  From the playground to the grown world girlfriends talk about many things but boys are a constant to everyone, everywhere.  It's innate to who we are.  Who we are created to be.  God made us specifically for relationship.  Specifically to complete an incomplete man.  The definitions of what romance looks like to us vary from personality to personality.  But the bottom line, is it's always there.

I've always thought it was interesting that God talks a lot about romance and marriage in the Bible.  It's not just a passing thought for him.  It's a central one.  He compares our relationship to himself in a romantic way.  He calls us his bride.  He calls himself our lover.  There's a pretty graphic love story smack in the middle of the bible. (hehe, whatya do with that, romance novel haters?)

One of my many criticisms of modern Christianity, is that the church has run away from sex like it's the devil.  Sex, like many other things, just is.  It's a part of who we are as humans.  What we do with it becomes good or evil.  And the church has let the world have the last word on sex for a long time.  To me this demonizing of a story like Twilight, or an attack on Christian romance novels is just another volley in a long line of harmful and pious rhetoric.  I'm not saying Twilight or novels is for everyone.  I'm just saying it might be ok for some.

It's also interested me that many of the authors of the criticisms have been male.  You wanna know my bottom line?  I think that some boys might be a little threatened by Edward.  Or the hero of a novel.   Give us some credit, gentlemen.  No rational woman really thinks that a vampire would make a fabulous life choice as a husband.  Jack Sparrow is another story. ;)   No rational woman expects her man to be all powerful, wealthy, with the body of Adonis and the spirituality of Paul.

Here's what she does really want, though.  For her man to be her hero.  To be willing to go the extra mile for her.  To lead her with kindness.  To romance her.  To tell her she's beautiful.  The Bible exhorts men to love their wives like Christ loves the church.  Um, there's no romance novel I've ever read that holds men up to a standard higher than that.  Who needs an eternal undead when you have the Creator of the Universe?

So, I guess what I'm saying is.  Lighten up.  Women are going to be in love with love forever.  No amount of Twilight banning or novel burning is going to change it.  Instead of trying to change women, maybe, boys....you could try to romance them.  Just a suggestion.  I saw this quote tonight, and I think there's a good dose of truth to it.

"man, who has scaled Everest, split the atom & conquered the moon, has not yet measured the secret heart of a woman, & never fully will.”