you put your hands on my heart
and now it beats
~love all over me, Monica
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Truthiness
I have a tattoo of the chinese symbol for truth on my back. Truth is something that is non negotiable with me. You can't have a real relationship without it. You can't be alive without it. Living in deceit is a half life filled with fear of exposure and monsters under the bed.
I want the light. Even if the light is harsh and the truth hurts. Hurt me for my good. Don't poison me with a pleasant lie. One of the many reasons I love Jesus is that he is the Truth. He doesn't let me live in self deceit or allow me to deceive others.
The truth sets us free. Free to be real. Free to fall down. Free to get up after falling. Facing your total inability to be a perfect human being allows you to grow into a better one.
Telling the truth to the people around you allows them the freedom to do the same. It's like injecting medicine into a diseased wound. I think that the Bible tells us to speak the truth in love because it's the most powerful way to live. To change lives. Jesus said his people would worship in Spirit and truth. And Jesus said anyone who doesn't acknowledge his sin is self deceiving and the truth is not in him.
Speak the truth. Always be real with me. I will do the same for you.
I want the light. Even if the light is harsh and the truth hurts. Hurt me for my good. Don't poison me with a pleasant lie. One of the many reasons I love Jesus is that he is the Truth. He doesn't let me live in self deceit or allow me to deceive others.
The truth sets us free. Free to be real. Free to fall down. Free to get up after falling. Facing your total inability to be a perfect human being allows you to grow into a better one.
Telling the truth to the people around you allows them the freedom to do the same. It's like injecting medicine into a diseased wound. I think that the Bible tells us to speak the truth in love because it's the most powerful way to live. To change lives. Jesus said his people would worship in Spirit and truth. And Jesus said anyone who doesn't acknowledge his sin is self deceiving and the truth is not in him.
Speak the truth. Always be real with me. I will do the same for you.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Catalyst
Catalyst has been, well, a catalyst in my life for 2 years now.
Last year, God told me to rearrange my priorities and make people more important than work. And to become a part of the teaching team at Crash. Looking back at my year since Catalyst has been kind of crazy to see how clear that direction was. How it's played out in my life and my everyday. How the people in my circle of friendships can say with certainty that this is what has changed in me.
Jeremy said something to me several years ago. We had been going around and around about the lack of a college and career place for people at BRCC since Apex ended. I was of the opinion that BRCC should do something about it, and Jeremy was of the opinion that I should do something about it if it was on my heart. I told him that I had too heavy of a workload. And then he said something that's gotten lodged in my heart. He said that if it was of God, I would have to make a choice and that the work would become less important if I was following God.
I got mad and left. haha.
So that leads me to 2012. Teaching/discipling/planning/serving with dear friends to reach women. Not just reach them. Walk with them toward Jesus together. Making choices to do less work, and make room for more discipleships. And all of this is not because I am good or awesome but because God has moved me. Step by step toward what His heart is. Not leaving me alone as a slave of the temporary. Making me into a slave of the desires of His heart for people.
Amazing. Even in the foolishness of my heart and my sin, He still sees me as useful. And I am a sinful girl. Do not ever think I am not.
Even typing this, there are tears in my eyes. HE IS SO GOOD.
So this year the theme of what God has been saying is less of you, Crystal. More of me. Lift me up. Lay down your pride. I was wrecked during one of the worship songs this year. Jesus at the Center. Jesus at the center of my motivations. Of the serving. The discipleships. The friendships. My marriage. The work I do. My life. My heart. Jesus.
Please God.
Last year, God told me to rearrange my priorities and make people more important than work. And to become a part of the teaching team at Crash. Looking back at my year since Catalyst has been kind of crazy to see how clear that direction was. How it's played out in my life and my everyday. How the people in my circle of friendships can say with certainty that this is what has changed in me.
Jeremy said something to me several years ago. We had been going around and around about the lack of a college and career place for people at BRCC since Apex ended. I was of the opinion that BRCC should do something about it, and Jeremy was of the opinion that I should do something about it if it was on my heart. I told him that I had too heavy of a workload. And then he said something that's gotten lodged in my heart. He said that if it was of God, I would have to make a choice and that the work would become less important if I was following God.
I got mad and left. haha.
So that leads me to 2012. Teaching/discipling/planning/serving with dear friends to reach women. Not just reach them. Walk with them toward Jesus together. Making choices to do less work, and make room for more discipleships. And all of this is not because I am good or awesome but because God has moved me. Step by step toward what His heart is. Not leaving me alone as a slave of the temporary. Making me into a slave of the desires of His heart for people.
Amazing. Even in the foolishness of my heart and my sin, He still sees me as useful. And I am a sinful girl. Do not ever think I am not.
Even typing this, there are tears in my eyes. HE IS SO GOOD.
So this year the theme of what God has been saying is less of you, Crystal. More of me. Lift me up. Lay down your pride. I was wrecked during one of the worship songs this year. Jesus at the Center. Jesus at the center of my motivations. Of the serving. The discipleships. The friendships. My marriage. The work I do. My life. My heart. Jesus.
Please God.
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