Tonight's small group was kinda hard. Actually, today had a theme running through it. Weird. Some days the HS is clearer than others. It started with listening to Mark Driscoll's Haiti trip recap. The devastation there is out of control. I cannot even begin to imagine living there. And then my thoughts moved to Nicaragua and our trip to the House of Hope coming up.
And then tonight in small group, we read Stephen's stoning in Acts and prayed for the churches around the world who suffer persecution, particularly in Iraq and Burma. As we prayed, the over riding theme was clearly that we American Christians have no concept how Christ is absolutely everything to those around the world that suffer. We have so much material that it clouds our vision of the eternal. Erin prayed for our faith to grow, that we would be tested. And internally I was definitely thinking, "no! no!" I don't want to be tested. That's painful, it hurts. I don't want to lose family and suffer pain and live in poverty.
Actually, some days I don't even crack my Bible open.
Ok, lately, actually most days.
How shallow is my faith, Lord. I find it really easy to give you lip service and do my easy duties like Help Portrait and small group. I hear you Lord. Forgive me for my shallow, pitiful, self seeking relationship with you. Help me to be obedient and draw near.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and its all about you its all about you Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
when its all about you its all about you Jesus.
~Delirious
2 comments:
Hmm. I've been thinking the very same thing lately. How badly do i want to draw closer to God? To really know Him? What am i willing to go through to get there? The last time i asked Him to do whatever it took, this whole mess happened at home. After a year or two, i finally got to the place where i could say that it's been worth it. Now i feel myself at that kind of juncture again. Wrestling with making that request again. Remembering all the darkest days from the last three years. More than a little scared of what He might bring into my life, but knowing that on the other side it will again be worth it.
It is SO scary to do that. I am right on board with you. Having the courage to make Jesus absolutely more than anything or anyone else in life is super easy to say and super hard to actually live out. To make the choices to live graciously and forgivingly and to put into practice all of those nice things we like to say as Christians like :turn the other cheek: Denying self is hard, painful work.
I've been wondering how you guys were doing. I pray for you and the girls frequently.
The other side of that is we are promised life more abundant. And that all of God's promises are yes for us in Christ. And that God personally, intimately cares about what we go through.
FYI, you encourage me all the time with the sharing of your journey. God uses you a lot, friend.
Speaking of which, looking forward to the next blog post. (;
Post a Comment