The Best Part of Halloween

Is not the candy.  It's the dress up.

Inspiration Part 2?

Recently, I've had a few people e mailing me to say that I'm some kind of inspiration to them.  The first initial gut reaction to this is to shake my head in disbelief.  Um, excuse me, are you sure you sent this message to the right person?  Cuz I'm pretty sure you don't have the right one.

Do ya know who I am?  The blond klutzy girl who has a gift of saying the wrong thing, being late to everywhere, and never quite measuring up to even her own standards?

And then the second reaction is fear.  O gosh, what if I stumble?  What if I screw somebody up because I screw up?  I can't screw up.  Dear God, don't let me screw up.

And then the 3rd reaction is a gentle reminder from the HS that the good in me is from the work that he has done, and he will take care of the rest, screw up or not.

And I can take a moment to thank Him that he takes this meager life of mine and does something with it sometimes.  That part is kinda cool. (=

Hymn-in' it Up

There are a few songs that stick with you via your childhood.  This song I haven't heard in years, but in searching out hymns this week ran across it again.  I remember singing it around campfires and at retreats.  It's a Catholic hymn, and it's a beautiful rendition of the idea that each of us should be like Jesus, taking on the form of a servant.

I'll Admit It

I'm jealous.  And I know that tomorrow will bring perspective and sanity.  But in this moment, for right now, I just wish to be appreciated. 

Breaking Open

Something inside me opened up on Wednesday night.  Sometimes you have something clenched inside of you that you may not even know was there.  Beth Moore was teaching on the love of God as a healer.  Desiring us in our broken state and wanting to heal us.  And I remembered.  I am desired by God.  And I felt joy surge upward in my soul.  I've been caught in a place of looking too long at my deficiencies and not looking at the One who heals me.  My heart was clenched into a knot of ugly. 

To be desired by God is a wonderful thing.  To be loved by God.  To be made by God into the creation of beauty and reflected glory that he wants me to be.  That he wants you to be.  It's a peace bringer.  It's a joy giver.  It's a dance starter.

It allows me to forgive.  And to confess without fear. 

You will go out in joy
       and be led forth in peace;
       the mountains and hills
       will burst into song before you,
       and all the trees of the field
       will clap their hands.

URGH!

I am working tired.  I feel like my creativity is gone.  Blech.  Kaput.  And it's frustrating the crap out of me.  I have a discontent.  A desire to reach the next level, to better my art and master that moment that's BOOM. 

And I've just been off.  Today I had the cutest couple.  A good idea.  A great location.  And I couldn't get there.  I just couldn't pull what I wanted out of the camera or out of the couple.  And it's not their fault at all.  My concept was only half executed. 

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

inspiration usually comes racing by me in a moment unaware
a drive by flash of genius
too quick to catch

and I chase it sometimes, like a butterfly catching child
with a pen or a lens for a net

other times the open sky and mountains beckon me
with lazy invitation
to sit underneath them and think out loud
and dream out loud and perhaps

invite inspiration to sit with me
and catch it unaware
so that more like lovers
or best friends
we can examine each other at length

Finishing Grace

Well, really, that's not possible.  You could spend a lifetime studying grace and not understand it fully. 

But we've finished the study in small group.  And this passage was blowing my mind tonight. It makes me want to stand up and shout and lift my hands.

"But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven."

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."