I am Not

So, in the last week I've been asked by 3 different ladies to disciple them.

The tension for me is in doing what God wants me to do and loving them as best I can, and the fear of failure.  The fear of pride and arrogance.  And the fear of keeping too many balls in the air as I juggle what this life is.

I am taking my first turn teaching Crash next Wed too, and all of that same tension is with me in thinking about it.

I was prepping my talk this morning and praying about it, and God just said this.   Do what I've told you to do.  It doesn't matter how good or bad you think it is.  It doesn't matter what Andy, Melissa or any of the other Crash leaders think about how you do it.  It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks except Me.

Just do what I want you to do.

That's enough.

And I feel way much better now. :)

It's amazing how much serving the expectations of people around you can become a slavery and a burden.  Or even the expectation of what you think their expectations are going to be. haha!

It's so easy to get caught up in my head and think about me.  Reflecting on me.  How things will affect me, how I will affect them.  The outcomes and possibilities all revolving around....you guessed it.  Me.

I'm not the point.

I am not.  But I know I AM.