But God

I suppose that after the retreat and the things that God accomplished in it, we should be riding some spiritual high.  The truth is that for myself, and for a few of the other leaders, there's a feeling of eh.  Discouragement.  Detachment.  I'm not going to speculate on the cause for my friends, but I know what it is for me. 

It's agonizing story after agonizing story of difficulty.  Rape.  Drug abuse.  Addictions.  Depressions.  I look at the faces of these precious women and their stories break my heart.  They break my heart because the enemy is trying hard to keep them in those places.  Sometimes the struggle seems long and really hard.  And I just get overwhelmed. 

I've not even wanted to open my Bible since we got back.  At all. 

Sin and its consequences really are death.  There are no trite answers or cliches that will mend a heart.  It seems sometimes that as I get older, life just gets more complicated. 

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. ~Isaiah 53:3.

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:29. 

Focusing on the trouble.  The problem.  The pain.  This takes us to these places of depression and sadness.  I needed that reminder today to take my burdens, and the burdens of my friends to Jesus.  And then to stop focusing on them and start focusing on him.  Jesus is everything good and wonderful.  God.  Who made the sunsets.  The rainbows.  The puppies.  Yup.  My niece's face.  Who remembers birds that fall out of nests.  Who loves me more than I can understand. 

You are good.  And your plans are good.  Jesus.  Redeem our pain.  We need you. 

Woody says it.  Andy said it this weekend.  Here's my story.  And here's where it says:  But God.....

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.